Emelina's Amor Para Todos Give Out Day Fundraiser

Help me get 200 unique donations of at least $10 to save the lives of LGBTQIA+ youth. If APT gets the most single $10+ donations, we'll win $10K. An email & credit card can only be used once to count as a unique donation. Tax ID #.

What Is APT?
Amor Para Todos (APT) is a Petaluma-based, community-led organization whose mission is to join with schools & communities in an innovative, intersectional approach to cultivate more gender & LGBTQIA+-affirming environments for our youth. 

Why Am I Passionate About APT?

Trigger Warnings: homophobia, transphobia, rejection violence, violence/murder, and suicide.

I'm a 35-year-old native Petaluma resident. I’m also a lesbian. My younger self would have never shared that.

In the sixth grade, I grabbed a knife from the kitchen, walked into my parents' bathroom, & put it against my neck.

I felt alone in elementary school, developed depression in middle school, & had debilitating anxiety in high school.

I didn’t feel safe growing up in Petaluma’s K-12 school system.

In kindergarten, my first crush, a girl, kissed me on the cheek during reading time. We were sent to the back of the classroom to separate tables.

In high school, I remember hearing my friends say, "They shouldn't be allowed to go to our school," referring to the only out people at our school. Fortunately, they’re allies now.

Countless memories are ingrained in my mind starting from when I was five years old, like the boys on the playground playing “Smear the Queer” and frequently hearing “That’s so gay.” These moments made me feel invisible, voiceless, & powerless.

Anxiety Ruled Me

In high school, I was in a constant state of hypervigilance. I slept through a lot of my classes as a coping mechanism. I developed irritable bowel syndrome & would vomit from the stress.

I remember walking past the counselor’s office toward the science classrooms, & my vision blurred. I couldn’t breathe. My sister, Kristina, drove me home from school that day. She drove me home early from school multiple days.

I loved school, being social, & learning. I asked for extra homework in elementary school, took an advanced math class in middle school, & had above a 4.0 average in my freshman year – but I struggled. Every time I entered a classroom, the quiet triggered an avalanche of thoughts: What are they thinking? What if they know? My brain shut down. I failed Geometry my sophomore year. 

Queer Youth Experience Trauma

I grew up in the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell era. Marriage equality wasn’t possible. In 30+ states, LGBTQIA+ people could be fired or denied housing solely based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. And hearing about queer people being murdered in the news wasn’t uncommon – like 21-year-old Matthew Shepard, who was brutally beaten, tied to a fence, & left to die, or 15-year-old Sakia Gunn, who was stabbed to death after rejecting two men’s advances, stating she was a lesbian.

An aberration, a second-class citizen, disgusting. I was aware of how society viewed me since I was five; it was traumatizing. It has taken me decades to release that trauma. I'm still working on it.

I don't want any child to experience what I did. Unfortunately, the trauma I experienced as a queer child is common.

Although society has become more LGBTQIA+ inclusive, it’s still a minefield. The trans community has become more politicized. People are fighting to deny their human rights; transgender kids feel this. According to a 2023 survey from The Trevor Project, 48% to 56% of transgender, nonbinary, & genderqueer youth considered suicide in the past year.

We Harm Kids by Minimizing Their Experiences

As adults, we trivialize kids’ emotions & experiences, & that’s a misstep. When kids are dying by suicide, it means that we are failing to validate their experiences & emotions. 

Kids need our support. They need to feel safe, seen, & validated & have the vocabulary & tools to express their feelings. 

This is why my sister, Renee Ho, created APT & why I'm on the advisory board.

APT works with school districts & communities in Petaluma, Cotati, Rohnert Park, & Santa Rosa, & we’re excited to expand. We've funded professional development for teachers & administrators, brought LGBTQIA+-inclusive general education & family life curriculum to elementary schools, supported K-12 student-led APT & GSA clubs, funded Progressive Pride flags for local school & district buildings, hosted I Am Jazz Community Readings at the Petaluma Public Library, painted a rainbow crosswalk in downtown Petaluma, & much more. We’ve even influenced state legislation Bill SB 760. If passed, California public schools will have all-gender restrooms as an option for students. We’re excited to continue our work. 

Our fundraiser to save lives ends on June 28. Please consider donating & sharing. 

If You're Loal

Join us on Wed, June 28 from 2 - 9 pm at The Block Petaluma. There will be activities for kids, live music, food & drinks for purchase, & a DJ, emcee, & silent & live auction. I hope to see you there.